The dirtiest words in the book.
Of course I’m writing this with the assumption that none of my dear readers would partake in any of these head shaking practices, but so that I can somehow diminish the looks of disbelief and horror I receive when I inform someone who doesn’t know, that yes, 7 people tried on that color before you, unassisted with dirty fingers.
As a disclaimer, you might notice some subtle criticisms of products that you might love. I apologize in advance if you swear by them, but I don’t. I hope you understand why after reading this.
At the risk of getting too serious and preachy, I’ve included some of my favorite causes of disbelief for a few incredulous chuckles. Enjoy, and spread the word!
1. That lipstick you just applied right on your lips? Yeah, 4 people already did that today without asking for assistance (i.e. having it disinfected).
2. You cannot disinfect a mascara wand. We do not perform a health or hygiene checkup on the last person who decided to apply it straight from the bottle after brushing away said assistance. Pink eye is gross and itchy.
3. Fun Fact: Out of Windex? Smashed your nail polish on the bathroom floor? Clinique toner is a savior ;)
4. Raising you hand within any proximity of someone’s face is only acceptable in a classroom behind a desk. The proper response is “no thank you, I’m just browsing”. Geesh!
5. Vibrating mascaras are a gimmick, unless you’re deathly afraid of developing carpal tunnel, in which case go ahead and don’t move your wrist while applying it. It’s harder than it looks.
6. If we tell you it’s not tested on animals, its not tested on animals. Maybe this is a personal practice, but if you can go home and google the truth, why would I lie to you?
And an extra little note:
I have been privileged enough to have almost literally grown up in this industry, and experienced the tail end of the days when department stores were not referred to as dinosaurs, and customers on client file were pleased and excited to receive a phone call from their Beauty Advisor. Drug stores did not yet have self serve high end makeup, and full service was appreciated, not cringed at. There is no more valuable resource in the retail beauty world then a relationship with an advisor who knows your skin, your preferences and thinks of you when they get a new product in you might love. Maybe if we all took advantage of this, less of the above list would happen, and nobody would have to feel defensive the next time somebody asks “may I help you?” We really are dying to. At least I am. And not just for sales.
So to all the ladies who know these ‘secrets’, thank you for making my job a blast. And the rest? Welcome to the club.